Saturday, June 30, 2012

Perfectly Imperfect

I typically don't do this...ramble (stop laughing).  I've been MIA lately- last week, I was preparing for an out of town journey and this week, I was knee deep in VBS at my church (oh, how I love my church).  I'm back and I'll continue our summer adventures this week, but I woke up with an elephant sitting on my chest this morning (to be precise, it was 6:36 this morning ... on a Saturday... when we had NO plans OTHER than to sleep in!!!- rude elephant) and I don't particularly want to brain dump right here on my blog... in fact, I got my computer out to look at the Ikea website, fighting coming here and doing this exact thing, but I'm here, so obviously God won (as usual, right?).  Here goes...

I will start by saying that I would like to be a fly on the wall of a home that is 'normal'... not perfect, just normal.  I certainly don't know what that looks like!  Do you?  I think people often get those two words confused- perfect and normal.  I've always wanted to be perfect- to be right in the middle of this vortex that is 'perfect' with my perfect little family, my perfect marriage, my perfect home, my perfect car, my perfect job.... I wanted to be right there in the middle with a perfect body, perfect hair, perfect wardrobe, completely untouched by all of the perfection swirling about me in all it's perfectness.

This, of course, will never happen- (duh!).  God saves perfect for Him.  Since I am VERY visual, I will paint a picture, sort of.

I think I am on to the meal stage of life right now.... as a kid and really until you are a complete adult, you are in the appetizer stage- imagine a big table of friends, several of them order appetizers, the waiter comes and sets all of them in the middle of the table and everyone just digs in- it's a free for all.  A little of this, a little of that- oooh, I didn't realize I didn't like ____, or mmmmm, I wish I had tried ____ sooner, or man, if I eat anymore of ____ I'll have to use a ponytail holder to keep my jeans buttoned (don't EVEN act like you don't know what I'm talking about!).  As kids, we are experimenting with who we are and who we want to be, which is hardly fair because these decisions are being made and we are so very ignorant about the world (you know, still believing that perfection is attainable) .... a little of this, a little of that.  We develop tastes for things and distastes for others.  I think I may have spent a little too long with that stage of my life (Where is that dang waiter with my meal?  It's been 30+ years!)

Ahhhh, I smell it before I see it (why is it that, often times the smell of your food is better than the actual taste?).  I know what I like, I know what I don't like.  Currently, (like, now, June 30, 2012) I am finding the tools to be who I want to be (umm, do you expect me to cut this steak with my spoon?)  

I know how I want this thing to turn out- this thing being my life.  I know where I want to go with it, I HAVE A PLAN... but all the plans in the world won't ever, ever, EVER make it perfect!  It's not going to ever be perfect.  (maybe if I write this a few more times, I'll actually get it).  What I do know, FINALLY, is that God is saving my perfect for dessert.  Now THAT will be perfect.  

If I think about it, I don't say 'let's go to _______ because they have the BEST appetizers!' - I ( now this is me, I know you may be different, but this analogy works for me so go with it) say "Let's go ____ (secretly thinking no appetizer, small meal, and come dessert time, I'm tucking the napkin under my chin, double fisting the utensils and eating myself into sugar shock).  It's just how I operate.  In fact, I am probably single-handedly responsible for our current president just due to the amount of cash I shell out to Ben & Jerry (huge donkey donors) on a monthly basis, but that's a whole 'nother post. In real life, this is apparent, just look at my rear and thighs.  Okay, (I will never be perfect) using this analogy for life, I think we all need to keep our eye on the prize- the dessert- the perfection He has built for us. 

Your meal won't be perfect.  Your potatoes may be a little too firm, your steak under cooked (moooo) and your asparagus, well... let's just say there is, like, a 20 second window between crunchy and soggy and you better have a lot of faith in your chef to be right there during that window and not off picking his nose (or worse) and forgetting to wash his hands... just sayin.  Actually, what I'm saying is, it won't be perfect.  Your butter may be too hard to spread on your roll, which happens to be a little too brown.  It won't be perfect-(they forgot the sautéed mushrooms and onions?  Come on!)  Oh, and you can't send it back... you just can't- they'll spit in it, you know they will!  

Don't just 'get through it'.  Eat it.  Savor it.  Share it.  Dessert is coming and I have it on good authority that it will be perfect.

John 14 MSG

 1-4 "Don't let this throw you. You trust God, don't you? Trust me. There is plenty of room for you in my Father's home. If that weren't so, would I have told you that I'm on my way to get a room ready for you? And if I'm on my way to get your room ready, I'll come back and get you so you can live where I live. And you already know the road I'm taking."

I am off to hear my imperfect sons tell me about a fictitious soccer tournament they are currently competing in with my imperfect husband (video game, of course), then I will go out with above mentioned imperfect family to celebrate the last day of the 8th year of my imperfect daughter's life, imperfectly, of course, and I will leave behind  3-4 loads of laundry, dirty bathrooms, enough crumbs on the kitchen floor to feed an army (of ants if I don't eventually sweep it up).  

For those of you who are visual, imagine me, in the center of a vortex of imperfection- left over make up from last night, hair that desperately needs highlights, running shorts that show a tad too much of my Ben & Jerry thighs, surrounded by my beautifully messy children, my unshaven (but still the most handsome man I've ever seen) husband, in my neglected house (seriously, I don't think even one of my couch cushions doesn't have a stain)- imperfection swirling around me...But, with a (crooked) smile ear to ear, knowing I am right where He wants me to be.

 We are all perfectly imperfect, waiting, serving, loving, but still waiting to join His perfect kingdom.  

If you made it this far, you deserve chocolate mousse or at the very least, a red velvet pazookie from BJ's!

You are blessed.  So am I.  That's all.

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